Please Flush After Use.

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No thanks. Why? Because I'm such a bad boy. A rebel you might say. Why should I put my hand on the handle that hundreds of people have touched before. Have you no sense in personal health? Think of all the germs. In this day and age, we ought to invent some form of automatic flushing urinals. Ignorant people these days...

Of course, my "no flush cause" is an open act of rebellion against the public restroom empire. How many times have you tried to do your nature, only to find that there are no privacy dividers. Honestly, I don't want to see other people's junk (please note that I am for the opposite for women's bathrooms. Everyone should be visible to the public, and that there should be an observatory deck).

Oh yeah. Do you know where our waste ends up at? Probably the drinking supply water! I'm actually doing everyone a favor. If you don't want to drink piss, don't flush. Unless we are able to build an international pipeline that directs all waste into the Middle East.

Also, what's up with the 0.5 ply toilet paper? I understand that you can't reasonably afford double ply, but why degrade our asses to 0.5 ply status? Not even single ply for Christ's sake!

Until the public restroom empire met my demands (although I haven't really declared any yet. I'm just doing a random wall of ranting), I will continue to not flush, and potentially move into more drastic actions. You guessed it. On a full tank, I would divide my urine and piss on every single urinal in one run. From left to right, I'll just hose right down the column.

Watch out world. I'm out there.